Israel Bombs Psychiatrist Flotilla!
World Recoils in Shocked Horror; White House Regrets "Brutal but Understandable" Massacre of "Well-Meaning" but "Incredibly Depraved" Shrinks
by Michael K. Smith
Legalienation News Bureau
The Israeli Air Force today bombed a flotilla of psychiatrists attempting to bring elephant tranquilizers to increasingly rabid Israeli leaders, whose stubborn defiance of rationality has caused Prime Minister Netanyahu's and Defense Minister Ehud Barak's psychiatrists to commit suicide in recent days.
Forty-six psychoanalysts were killed and ninety-three wounded in the bombing of the convoy of ships dubbed Tranquility shortly after it left port in Cyprus. Ayal Shavit, an Israeli military spokesperson, bluntly declared the attack legal, stating, "We have every right to defend Jewish sovereignty in Cyprus."
International reaction to the flotilla disaster quickly poured in from around the world. Speaking from the State Department's palatial new headquarters in Jerusalem, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton pronounced the killings "well-executed," while expressing regret that a few "bad apples" had infected the Free Israel Movement with "terrorist aspirations." She cautioned against anti-Semitic overreaction, pointing out that, "If the boats hadn't deliberately and provocatively set sail from Cyprus, Israel's bombs would have fallen harmlessly in the ocean."
President Obama withheld comment in the interest of remaining neutral, and speedily dispatched a new shipment of attack helicopters to Israel.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Washington rejected "the Orwellian notion" that bombing the flotilla constituted an attack. "Those terrorist shrinks had to be stopped," he said. "The quest for mental health is a dagger pointed at Israel." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi concurred, stating that "psychiatry makes itself a tool of the terrorists if it begins to promote indiscriminate mental health."
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu denounced the flotilla as "Disease Boats," not "Cure Boats," and complained bitterly of the hostile reception Israeli commandos received after boarding the burning wreckage and peacefully engaging the bleeding survivors with stun grenades, tasers, machine guns, and tear gas. One commando suffered a brutal paper cut when a hurled copy of "Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis" struck him on the left forearm. Netanyahu pronounced it "a miracle" that the man survived, and called for the psychiatrists to be put on trial in The Hague for crimes against humanity.
Pressed for a solution to the endless violence, Netanyahu said he supports an outcome based on two states living side by side, Israel above ground, and Palestine below. His new psychiatrist, replacing the late Moshe Yatom, was unavailable for comment, as he fled to France after a rabies shot failed to cure his patient.
The Free Israel movement's desperate effort to chemically pacify Israeli leaders has come after years of fruitless attempts to bring them to sanity by traditional means. Orthodox psychoanalysis has proven itself inadequate in that the "cathartic" or emotional acting-out treatment initially favored by Freud provides only temporary relief to Zionists, while producing tragically permanent effects on others. In a dramatic recent case a psychiatrist was stabbed 93 times after encouraging his Jewish patient to "go with" his feelings about implementing an equitable political settlement with Palestinian Arabs. In another, an Israeli settler "free associating" to the term "Palestine" caused his analyst to go deaf by screaming expletives into his ear for 36 consecutive hours, only stopping when he developed permanent lockjaw.
Free Israel psychiatrists concede that Israeli leaders are "the toughest nuts we've ever had to crack," but remain optimistic they can fulfill their mission to "liberate the inmates from the giant mental hospital Israel has become." Dr. Geoffrey Mann, a colleague of Moshe Yatom's, whose recent suicide touched off the international shrink solidarity movement, reminded BBC viewers yesterday that Freud devised his psychoanalytic method treating "severe hysteria," which is exactly what afflicts Israeli leaders today. Mann stated that Freud's initial remedy - hypnosis - has not worked well with Israeli leaders only because "they are already hypnotized by Zionist ideology." To induce a still deeper trance apparently runs the risk of permanent coma, which is not generally regarded as a desirable psychiatric outcome, though it cannot be denied that the late Ariel Sharon's conduct improved markedly after he lapsed into a coma.
Rumors that the Israeli commandos burned books after boarding the flotilla turned out to be false. According to the Dissociated Press, what actually happened is that the commandos piled all the psychiatry books on the ships' decks and riddled them with bullets, while shouting, "Now maybe you'll see that your arguments are full of holes!"
-----Michael K. Smith is the author of "Portraits of Empire" and "The Madness of King George," from Common Courage Press. He co-blogs with Frank Scott at http://legalienate.blogspot. com. He can be reached at proheresy@yahoo. com
Second Psychiatrist Suicide Rocks Israel
Defense Minister's Analyst Overdoses on Valium - Wave of "Shrinkicides" Feared
by Michael K. Smith for Legalienation News Bureau
Just one week after Benjamin Netanyahu's psychiatrist Moshe Yatom killed himself in despair over his failure to develop an effective treatment for the Prime Minister, a second psychiatrist suicide has left Israel reeling.
Yigal Peleg, 61, a colleague of Yatom's who had been treating Defense Minister Ehud Barak for Security Addiction Disorder (SAD), was found dead at his home in Tel Aviv Monday evening from an overdose of Valium. A suicide note indicated that Yatom's failure had provoked widespread despair in Israel's psychiatric community, which fears a therapeutic remedy for doublethink is much more remote than previously believed. Security Addiction Disorder, often characterized by blizzards of doublethink, is also now believed to be well nigh incurable.
The loss of two such highly successful analysts to clinical depression in such a short time has left Israel fearing a wave of "shrinkicides" may be in the offing. Many government officials are currently undergoing analysis, with virtually all of them sporting the same penchant for doublethink that drove Yatom and Peleg over the edge. If current treatments continue to prove ineffective, a psychiatric "Jonestown" could well be the result.
"Laypeople don't realize the stress involved in treating ideology-induced psychosis," observes Dr. Rafael Eilam, best-selling author of Zionist Lunacy On The Couch: The Perilous Quest For a Cure (Sanity Books, 2010). "Take Security Addiction Disorder. A client afflicted with this illness simply cannot perceive that domination and security are not the same thing. To dominate another is to guarantee insecurity, since the dominated instinctively seek to escape domination by any means available." Given the almost total blindness of SAD patients to their own aggression, psychiatrists who treat them often can't resist impulses to bash their own brains out with the nearest blunt object. This tends to reduce the quality of their subsequent research.
Similar problems confront psychoanalysts treating Massive Attack Disorder (MAD), which is said to be rampant among Israeli leaders. Patients afflicted with this dread disease lack the maturity to understand their own needs, let alone those of others, and destroy everything in their vicinity like a cranky toddler smashing his toys. The illness has a poor prognosis, as victims typically don't notice that they are worse off in the wake of each tantrum. According to Dr. Eilam, Israel's savage attacks on Lebanon and Gaza in recent years may be credited to their MAD proclivities, with both attacks having contributed substantially to Israel's current pariah status.
In a somewhat surprising development, psychiatrists world-wide are rallying to support their embattled Israeli colleagues by forming a Free Israel movement. As their first major action they are planning to sail a flotilla to Tel Aviv loaded with humanitarian relief supplies for Israeli psychoanalysts and their high-profile patients; that is, tons of anti-depressants for the former and elephant tranquilizers for the latter. Flotilla organizers admit that these are only palliatives, but argue that the elephant tranquilizers in particular have been shown to be at least moderately effective in calming the symptoms of Zionist Infantile Outburst Neurosis (ZION), the most serious of which is a chronic impulse to rob, swindle, torture and murder all those who, in the victim's judgment, which is by definition infallible, impede the onward march to the Zionist paradise.
-----Michael K. Smith is the author of "Portraits of Empire" and "The Madness of King George," from Common Courage Press. He can be reached at proheresy@yahoo.com
Posted by Michael Smith at 7:21 PM
Psychiatrist of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Commits Suicide
Anguished Suicide Note Cites 'Deluge of Doublethink' In Driving Kind-Hearted Shrink to Despair
Michael K. Smith
Legalienation News Bureau
Moshe Yatom, a prominent Israeli psychiatrist who successfully cured the most extreme forms of mental illness throughout a distinguished career, was found dead at his home in Tel Aviv yesterday from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. A suicide note at his side explained that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who has been his patient for the last nine years, had "sucked the life right out of me."
"I can't take it anymore," wrote Yatom. "Robbery is redemption, apartheid is freedom, peace activists are terrorists, murder is self-defense, piracy is legality, Palestinians are Jordanians, annexation is liberation, there's no end to his contradictions. Freud promised rationality would reign in the instinctual passions, but he never met Bibi Netanyahu. This guy would say Gandhi invented brass knuckles."
Psychiatrists are familiar with the human tendency to massage the truth to avoid confronting emotionally troubling material, but Yatom was apparently stunned at what he called the "waterfall of lies" gushing from his most illustrious patient. His personal diary details the steady disintegration of his once invincible personality under the barrage of self-serving rationalizations put forth by Netanyahu.
"I'm completely shocked," said neighbor Yossi Bechor, whose family regularly vacationed with Yatom's family. "Moshe was the epitome of the fully-integrated personality and had cured dozens of schizophrenics before beginning work on Bibi. There was no outward indication that his case was any different from the others."
But it was. Yatom grew increasingly depressed at his complete lack of progress in getting the Prime Minister to acknowledge reality, and he eventually suffered a series of strokes when attempting to grasp Netanyahu's thinking, which he characterized in one diary entry as "a black hole of self-contradiction."
The first of Yatom's strokes occurred when Netanyahu offered his opinion that the 911 attacks on Washington and New York "were good." The second followed a session in which Netanyahu insisted that Iran and Nazi Germany were identical. And the third occurred after the Prime Minister declared Iran's nuclear energy program was a "flying gas chamber," and that all Jews everywhere "lived permanently in Auschwitz." Yatom's efforts to calm Netanyahu's hysteria were extremely taxing emotionally and routinely ended in failure. "The alibi is always the same with him," complained another diary entry. "The Jews are on the verge of annihilation at the hands of the racist goyim and the only way to save the day is to carry out one final massacre."
Yatom was apparently working on converting his diary into a book about the Netanyahu case. Several chapters of an unfinished manuscript, entitled "Psychotic On Steroids," were found in his study. The excerpt below offers a rare glimpse at the inner workings of a Prime Minister's mind, at the same time as it reveals the daunting challenge Yatom faced in seeking to guide it to rationality:
Monday, March 8
"Bibi came by at three for his afternoon session. At four he refused to leave and claimed my house was actually his. Then he locked me in the basement overnight while he lavishly entertained his friends upstairs. When I tried to escape, he called me a terrorist and put me in shackles. I begged for mercy, but he said he could hardly grant it to someone who didn't even exist."
-----Michael K. Smith is the author of "Portraits of Empire" and "The Madness of King George," from Common Courage Press. He can be reached at proheresy@yahoo.com
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