BREAKING NEWS: Israel Bombs CreditScore.Com
At approx. 11am this morning, Israel bombed www.creditscore.com in an attempt to lessen Palestinian purchasing power. Recently, the Israeli Mossad has detected Palestinians with credit scores upwards of 750 and even 800. The IDF is still assessing damage reports indicating Israel has decimated most AAA creditholders; yet IDF military personnel insist some Palestinians remain who still possess sufficient credit to buy an RC Cola and a cherry moon pie.
Israeli PM Benjamin NetanYahoo has declared all-out war on www.creditscore.com stating, "Whirlpool my ass, they're trying to buy weapons of mass destruction and a matching set of automated ice cream makers with backup power. The claim they were just trying to buy an RC Cola and a cherry moon pie is pure pro-Palestinian propaganda."
Israeli Ambassador to the U.S., Michael Oren, maintains that CreditScore.Com is nothing but an anti-semitic money-laundering operation poised to give away free toasters and refrigerator magnets to Hamas front organizations.
In a related story, U.S. defense contractors have successfully completed the final test phase of their new refrigerator-buster bombs designed to interrupt any accumulation of refrigerator magnets in the West Bank and Gaza; the Pentagon has dismissed Palestinian claims that their refrigerator magnets were nothing more than recipe-holders, insisting Palestinian refrigerator magnets could be used in the production of long-range missiles. To date, Israel has bombed Whirlpool, Amana and the Price Is Right, claiming great success in reducing Palestinian magnet proliferation. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton issued a statement yesterday: "We have satellite images of Sham-WOW products being hidden amongst the civilian population. We begin bombing at 11am tomorrow morning."
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